Dating After Divorce - Are you really ready?
Dating is a scary world... but dating after divorce is the WILD WILD WEST. I mean that. If you have ventured on to tinder, hinge, or bumble... then you have an idea of the joys that modern dating brings LOL. I am 30, single, and twice divorced - I am what one would call the recipe for success (especially the twice divorced by 30 part). Here's the thing. I have never struggled to date a day in my life. If I wanted someone, they usually wanted me too. I never had to work at it. Imagine my surprise when I left my second marriage only to find a world where people ghost each other and aren't entirely honest about their intentions. Every single day, I wonder if I am truly ready for this world again.
I have been single by choice for 18 months. In those 18 months, I've really taken the time to consider what I want, who I want, and more importantly, how I want to show up next time I am in a relationship. I reflected long and hard on the ways I sabotaged my past relationships. I've examined triggers. I went deep into my trauma and noticed how they affected how I showed up as a partner. I was not the perfect partner. Most days, I was far less than what my ex-husband deserved. He got the worst of me. Next time, I truly want to show up for my person. Ultimately, I stand by my decision to get divorced. I like my life now, but should I open my heart to dating again - I never want to be the girl I was in my last relationship. She deserves better. He (whomever I choose as a partner) deserves somebody who shows up and chooses to love them every single day. SO, how did I know I was ready to date after divorce?
I let go of the bitterness/resentment.
I took full ownership for my part in the relationship failing.
I asked myself what I want in a partner (and wrote it down).
I asked myself who I want to be as a partner
I am truly happy alone. I like my own company, so I am not looking for someone to complete me.
I spent time getting to know myself. I won't settle until I find someone who likes me for ME (not the version of me they created).
Are you divorced, single, and wondering if you're ready to date again? Do you wonder if you've healed your heart from the las relationship? If so, I can help. I help women heal after divorce, find themselves, and get their joy back! Schedule your free consultation today!
XOXO
The Marissa Baker
Divorce Coach